Me And My Life

Friday, March 21, 2008

hello... i am back but i donno if it last again. ever since my last update on this blog, so many things had happen. Friends, relationship, working n school. so many things.

Lets just start of with friends. like i said before, friends seriously plays a big part in my life cos i donno what i'll do withput them. i use to hang out with this group of frens in church but somehow we dont hang out as much as before already. felt really far from them. perhaps its the busyness of their work n sch. i too sometimes find myself so busy at work n in school that i cant hang out with them. but as time pass, i felt that my frenship with them is falling apart. i use to be so happy when i get to see them but now, it felt different. couldn't explain how that feeling is but its just different.
but although all this had happen, i actually came closer to this 2 guys. eduard n julian. it became so close that it felt like i really have 2 more brothers. although they r younger then me, i felt comfortable in sharing with them probs that is bothering me. i guess thats what brothers r for. listen n share. hanging out with them is fun. getting to know so many more younger ones n even the parents. being able to be the bigger brother. it felt really good to actually being able to take care n have fun with the younger ones. n being look up to. i guess some frens just come n go but true frens stay behind with you.

ok enough about friends. now its about relationships.
relationship with my parents is ok. normal. about dad, i dont really get to see him. even i do, it felt different. it felt like i wasn't close to him anymore. he would pop my my house once in awhile to have dinner but each time he do, i couldn't say more. all i could say was "hello". i do not know how to relate to my dad anymore. but hoping for a better relationship with him.
then about my relationship with abi, its doing alright but at times,we quarrel n it hurts alot for both of us i guess. i felt that we r over sensitive to one other. we do not give space to one another. n infact sometimes we control one another. like for example, sometimes i do felt angry when she hang out with her frens. esp the guys from her track. but am i going to not allow her to hang out with her frens? i realise that relationship is about trust. what is the point of going into a relationship when we dont trust one another? when we r scared that something will happen. so i've make a choice n say that i will NEVER let this kind of feelings control me anymore. cos i trust her n i know that she will do the right thing. but of cos, i would want her to trust me too. even though i hang out alot with the girls in church, it never once cross my mind to like them more then frens. i treated them all as sisters like how i treat eduard n julian as brothers. i really hope that she will understand the situation that we r in. n fully trust me in the things i do.

but im glad after so many quarrels that we have gone through, we r still together going strong. each time things happen, we grow from it not run away from it. i love her alot.

thats all for relationships. now work n sch.
school is normal lah. cant wait to not go to sch anymore.
Work have been bumpy. having alot of troubles n even on the verge of getting fired. but still wanna thank God that i still have a last chance to change n i really wanna change. attitute towards supervisors not really good cos of my temper. i normally talk back if i thinks its right or wrong so i normally get it from them. this time, im going to be patient with them n do what i am ask to do.

that should be all for now.... going to sleep. i'll bounce

10:57 PM

the guy

Name: Lionel

if you think you are beaten; you are if you think you dare not, you dont if you'd like to win, but you think you cant it's almost a cinch you wont if you think you'll lose; you lost for out in the world we find sucess begins with a person's faith it's all in the state of mind life's battles dont always go to the stronger or faster hand they go to the one who trusts in God and always thinks "i can!"

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