Me And My Life

Monday, July 18, 2005

wat a wk man. went for a ndp practice. it was not as bad as i thought it would be. in fact, i like it. hehe. though next month, my weekedns will be burn due to the performance but i think its worth it cos in the end, i'll get 8 daes off. hehe. well, yesterdae which is sat, i had guard duty cos of extra. this extra wasn't really my fault at all. this is wat happen.

well, we were all getting ready to go to the vehical sheak to do some stuff. i do not hav enough hands so my sergent help me to carry my weapon there. he left it with another sergent. when i saw the weapon with another sergent, i went off but who noes that he went to do other things n left the weapon there alone. before i noe it, i heard shouting from my officer n ask whos weapon is this n i said that its mine. than thats how i got my one extra. stupid rite?

than i did my guard duty yesterdae n bk out todae morning. straight after bk out, went to tan tock seng to report sick cos i wanna take a MC. after that, went to church for service. did not really pay attention. still feeling that stupid feeling. haiz. i seriously need help. after service, went to east coast with family n lex the dog. he hav grown so much ever since i seen him. hehe. so cute. well, thats all i guess... hope that the rest of the week will go on well. =)

3:33 PM

Monday, July 11, 2005

i jus got home n guess who i met? a lady stop me todae n i think she is a postitute. this is wat that lady said.

Lady: Hi. (smile)

Lionel: Hello. (smile)

Lady: Can i noe ur name?

Lionel: My name is Lionel.

Lady: My name is anita.

Anita: Where do u stay?

Lionel: Hougang. (lying)

Anita:I stay there too.

Anita: Can u spend the nite with me?

Lionel: Ohhh... Im gonna meet my frens now.

Anita: icic... can we catch up with each other?

Anita: Can i hav ur no?

Lionel: I cant cos this no isn't mine. its my fren's n i cant give the no anyhow.

Than anita walk away really angry. hehehe.

haiz... to everybody. to all my frens. i jus wanna tell u all how much i love u all. but i guess, now some things hav change. jus wanna let u noe that if ever i leave, or go to somewhere far away, u all wont be forgotten. u all will always be in my heart n will always be remembered. the times we had fun together. the times we laugh n share abt our problems. thank u all so much for being there for me. i luv u all. =).

3:40 PM

Sunday, July 10, 2005

FRIENDS...

Sometimes i really feel like leaving everything. leaving my frens n family. leaving everything that i own n love n go to a place far far away. but somehow, i cant. i jus cant. y? plz tell me y? becos of frens that im still here. y r u all so close to me? i wanna run away but i cant. argh....... i feel like dying but i cant. haiz. i donno wat to do. -Give up-

3:45 PM

Friday, July 01, 2005

troubles

I sometimes really regret going into army so young. Because im the youngest, i get push ardpretty often . i get bullied. Since my first 3 months in BMT, i get push ard. What can i do but to let them push me ard. im no longer that lionel who fight back. sometimes i feel really weak. letting them push me ard n i cant do anything to stop that. i cant fight back. sometimes i feel like going back to my old self. the person who aren't scared of anything. who daes to do everything. But i noe that if i go back to my old self, than i wont be the same person anymore. to me, the lionel last time has died but will he come back to life again. but if he come back to life, than i noe that the present lionel will go. which will be better? i donno.

Haiz... what r we thinking? just because of girls, there is a fight between us. I jus wonder izzit worth it or not. After going through so much for 1 year n there is more to go, jus this small think can make all of us so unhappy with each other. i jus got nothin to sae if we acually fight over this kind of small matter n ruin our 1 year friendship together. jus remember how we met each other. from stranger to become close frens. we fight together. we laugh n joke together. like brothers to me. ppl who i will look up to. who suffer with me. who celebrate with me. in wat ever problems or situation, we seek each other for help. i really hope that this all will not jus end like that. at least not over such small matters. cos i wanna treasure the times we all had together.

SIGN OUT....!!!

4:20 PM

the guy

Name: Lionel

if you think you are beaten; you are if you think you dare not, you dont if you'd like to win, but you think you cant it's almost a cinch you wont if you think you'll lose; you lost for out in the world we find sucess begins with a person's faith it's all in the state of mind life's battles dont always go to the stronger or faster hand they go to the one who trusts in God and always thinks "i can!"

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