Monday, August 28, 2006
hello... i hav been kind of lazy updating this blog man. hehe. jus woke up n im still tired. well, hav been going to sch n stuff n im starting to dislike it alot but i noe that thats nt wat im suppose to feel. so im trying to forcus on it n make it fun but its so hard. todae i was having this programming funtamental lesson n i was feeling so nt gd. even aft sch, i kept thinking of it n i wanna do well n get gd results but the thought of it makes me think that i cannot make it. its so hard larh.... all the codes n s tuff u hav to remember. if u were to ask me any question abt it, i really donno how to ans u. i jus hope that i'll get to familarise with the codes soon. n the maths is killing me. im nt gd maths in the first place n nw, the maths r harder n the teaching is going so fast. tried asking ppl but they do nt noe how to do oso. hiya... the reason y i wanna do well is nt only because of the diploma. but because i wanna proof to some that i can make it. im nt useless. n i really dont wan them to think of me that way. n on sun, during service, i couldn't concentrate so i went down for a drink n i didn't wanna go back up for service. this sister was there n she kept asking me to go up but i didn't wanna go up n she said that im useless, im hopeless n i noe that she doesn't mean it at all but deep down, those she said really bother me alot. n i kept thinking of the words she said n i jus felt that im really useless n hopeless.
nt only in studies but oso in my walk with God. sign... i need to go back to God. i need Him to be in charge once again. n for studies, i need to pay attention more n nt let others pull me down. Lord help me.
6:25 PM
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Wow... jus came back from a wonderful concert. It was awsome man. well, todae i was home the whole dae n was slacking n blogging n stuff. n after that, went to meet the rest at expo burgerking for dinner but ended up at the kopitiam beside. had duck rice but still hungry so went to bk to buy a sandwich meal. super pig loh. hehe. then after that headed to the concert. the moment i step into the hall, it really felt like im going clubbing. the ultraviolet lights n stuff. really felt like it. n with the rnb music n stuff. so cool. they didn't make it seem like its some christian concert. they make seem so nice. i was thinking of how ppl will feel n i can sae that even the non christian will feel great in that place. it felt so comfortable n nice.
Well, while waiting for the concert to start, we went to get sits n of cos chop sits for others who r late. while waiting, we found this drawing thing in the goodie bag n we started drawing on one another. my face was filled with drawings n i dont even noe how i look like. hehe. cant see myself. n i started catching up with alot of ppl. so fun to hav them with u. then the concert start n we rush down to the center n started jumping ard n singing praises n stuff. i was like perspiring so much jus when the song started. so hot n stuffy n i was jumping n singing my lungs out. lost my voice. but all this was great. then after concert, wanted an oncore but ohh well, at least we tried. headed home after that.
i really think that God hav shown me alot.
To you that i care the most. i hav come back to God n i noe u r straggling too. u told me that u felt so far from church n u r drifting away. but u hav to take that step to come back. its nt jus wait n see for results but the hardest part is taking that step to obey once again. wat i learn todae is, u cant jus only give ur heart to Him but u gt to give ur life to Him oso. i really wan u to come back. i pray that u will nt let that feeling take control over u. take care.
cheers.
1:47 AM
Friday, August 11, 2006
kk... let me write another post here. i was jus thinking abt some stuff while waiting to be 4pm so that i could leave my hse n head down to expo to meet the rest for dinner then go for the planetshakers concert. n wat i was thinking, make me realised some stuff in life.
Once in awhile, i will look back at my life n sometimes i jus ask God y izzit that all this r happening to me. i can sae that this life im having isn't perfect at all. infact, its one of those life that u hav to go through so much since young till now n im sure there r more. but i noe that i hav a perfect God n thats all that matters. looking back at my past, it makes me think so much. how i thought that it will nt happen to me but yet it does. like looking back at my parents who is seperated. funny thing is when young, i use to watch those chinese dramas n lots of them had divorce in it n i sae to myself that this wouldn't happen to my family but in the end, it did. it hurts alot in the beginning but after awhile, u get use to it. n so much hav happen in this life like relationships n frenships that hav jus gone down the drain. misunderstanding with one other. mistakes that ppl do. so many things that hav happen in my life.
but, i hav no regret over this anymore. i realised one thing that all this hav happen for a purpose. after going through all this, i hav grown stronger n learning from this mistakes makes me even stronger. perharps this r the things that God wans me to hav. after having all this learnings, God hav send ppl into my life to ask my qus. n since i hav gone through it, i truly understand the things that they share. n thats how i encourage them n share abt my own story. n i ask God,
"Lord, dont stop all this trails n testing cos this is where i learn new stuff. This is where i learn to obey You n help others who r in need of help."
So guys, every one of us will hav problems that sometimes we jus cant face it. or sometimes it jus hurt so much. but let me encourage u that this r the times where u learn n grow. well, if u all hav any probs that u would like to share, u can always find me. n i hope that i'll be able to help u. take care y'all.
3:24 PM
hello... its been awhile since i hav updated this blog. my life hav been a ride of ups n downs. So many things hav happen. n i can sae that my walk with Him isn't alright but i kept telling ppl it is. im straggling to get back to the right path but its jus so hard. I thank u those who hav prayed for me to get back to Him n i realised that its nt much of a prayer if i myself do nt help me.
I was wondering through this long journey i had with God. From the time i went to this camp called cs camp to the dae i am now, i noe i hav change for the better. i noe that God hav been there for me n guilding me through lots of trails n testing. But till todae, im still where i am. Im nt growing. I kept giving ppl advise n encouragment cos im gd at it but the truth is, i myself am straggling through it. I wan to get back to God. I wan.
Lord, come take over this life once again. I do nt wanna take control over this life n Lord i ask that You be in control over this. N i command the spirit of sianness to go away n nv to attack this body in the name of Jesus. Lord, i hav sin against u n i ask for Your forgivness. Thank You father n i pray all this in Your mighty n most precious Name Jesus, amen.
That felt good. hehehe... well, later will be going for the planet shakers concert n i noe its gonna be gd. Thank u tany for the tickets. Well, at first i didn't go cos was sian but jus when i woke up todae, i felt the urge to go really badly n so i ask jiahao but he do nt hav extras n so i ask tany n thank God he do hav an extra. Looking forward to it.
cya guys later. love u all. take care.
11:01 AM
